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James Hibberd



Porn Descriptions Challenge Copywriters

August 8, 2007 3:10 PM

Somewhere there is a copywriter who had to create a description for “Brazilian Butt Fetish" in 10 words or less without offending anybody. This unique occupational challenge stems from two relatively new events: Cable and satellite providers quietly adding harder-edged porn channels to their lineups, and the advent of detailed on-screen interactive program listing guides.

So here’s an activity for insomniac English majors who own a DVR: Apply the “Adult” content filter on movie listings to see how copywriters struggle to describe extremely lurid programming in a family friendly—and often curiously uplifting—manner.

The aforementioned "Brazilian Butt Fetish" is described as "pretty women reveal curvaceous features.” "The Hottest Housewife" is "sexy women reveal their best traits." "Strap-On Sally 18" is "gorgeous women please one another." And "Handjobs Across America" is, quite accurately, "young women enjoy simple pleasures."

Occasionally, the writer gets ambitious and goes for a pun, such as on "Foot Work," listed as "beauties infuse their lovemaking skills with sole." Other times, no effort is made to distinguish the film from any other adult title, such as on "Juicy Jet Booty 3"—"women satisfy the needs of men.” Equally porn-generic is "Marilyn's Dark Chambers," which is "people discover they can fulfill their fantasies without any repercussions."

Though it might seem like all the descriptions emphasize women pleasuring others, that’s not the case. The listing for "Pimp My Wife" is encouragingly female-empowering, if oddly verbose: "An average housewife learns to really let go and explore her deepest fantasies. She's finally free to release her inhibitions and be comfortable with her own body."

Once again, the movie is called "Pimp My Wife."

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Comments (10)

I almost applied for a job writing those, but decided I'm going to try to stick with careers my grandparents are allowed to know about.

Pimp My Wife... ahahhahahahhaahahahaahah!

Gene:

“Omni Pervert Flash Fest” renamed "Presidential Press Conference"

Kicker:

Funny article. Why do they have to come up with these ridiculous descriptions? Why can't we call it what it is?

Pinkerton:

Funny stuff. The best really graphic and offensive porn descriptions are the box synopses from a porn company called XCartel (xcartel.com) One of their interracial titles actually references Brown v. The Board of Education in the description. Some really creative stuff, though often misogynistic and vile.

Copywriter:

A few years ago I interviewed for a job at Adam & Eve, writing catalog descriptions of XXX videos and sex toys. They asked me to write some sample copy for five items, and just in that little exercise I was hard-pressed to come up with different ways to talk about the various body parts and activities involved. My hat's off to the folks who write those descriptions, and if they occassionally manage to have some fun doing it, I say more power to them.

Kicker:

Imagination, there is nothing wrong with that. I meant more so on the TV side when they're trying to get past filters. Obviously if you want to look through an Adam & Eve catalog, then those descriptions can and should be imaginative / funny.

brashier:

Smut mongering has never read so well...Bravo!

James:

So where do I sign up?

thanks for the GREAT post! Very useful...

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