Pull the Plug on Jerry-atrics, Please
September 1, 2008 8:35 AM
Michele Greppi: Geezer Jerry is in heaven. He’s got a captive audience. He’s telling his wheezer stories ad nauseam. He’s torturing his four “Big Brother 10” housemates with his banal bad sportsmanship.
He’s headed for the final three.
That means that unless someone hides his teeth or he seriously inures himself with his nonstop patting himself on the back and has to leave the “BB10” house strapped to a gurney, we’re in for another looooooong week in which even Keesha’s braying laugh on a 24/7 loop would be easier to endure.
Dan and Keesha are on the block for eviction.
The best protection against Jerry winning the $500,000 is for Memphis to win the Power of Veto, take Dan off the block and force Jerry to put Renny, the only possible replacement, on the block.
I hate to see Renny go, but the best hope of stopping Jerry rests in the combo of Keesha, who pulls some wins out of the hat at unexpected times (her Hooter’s waitress math skills gave her a hand in determining the final four during the whirlwind double eviction last week), and the suddenly ferocious Dan, and the win-light but determined Memphis.
Jerry must be stopped, Joe. He’s already gotten farther than anyone except himself wanted him to get.
If he gets to the final three, in addition to raising the Jerry-atric torture to inquisitional levels, there’s the danger his age will force some unfortunate decisions on the part of the producers who devise the final competitions.
If he lasts long enough to win first or second prize, everyone in that house will have nightmares for years about Jerry floating through all eternity in denim cutoffs, a muscle T-shirt and a smug expression on his face.
Such an unpalatable outcome might convince future “BB” contestants to eradicate floaters on sight, which would be too extreme a swing of the pendulum. Floaters have some uses—they just shouldn’t be kept after the point where their usefulness as a tool is outweighed by their insufferability.
That’s it from me tonight, Mr. Yang. The advanced age that gives me the latitude to make geezer jokes and Jerry-atric threats is catching up to me.
Josef Adalian: I couldn't agree more with you, Ms. Yin, regarding Jerry. And the producers of "Big Brother" also seem to share your frustration with Jerry-atric, producing one of the season's funniest packages Sunday with the segment in which Jerry prattles on and on and on. It was a rare moment of humor during a season that has thus far been dominated by drama.
As you likely know, Memphis has won the POV; he has been telling Dan that he plans to take him off the block so that Renny goes home. There's still a part of me, however, that wonders if Memphis wouldn't be smarter to get rid of Dan—back-stab the back-stabber. He'd get Jerry's respect, and I think Keesha would appreciate Memphis for protecting her secret alliance with Renny. The remaining three houseguests could target Jerry for eviction next week, and I think Memphis would have just as good a shot at making it to the final two as he would with Dan in the house.
In other words, Memphis needs to show he has a backbone. He needs to ditch Dan.
Of course, my theory only works if you believe that in a Dan-Memphis final two, Dan could actually win. And I'm not even sure what I believe.
If the evictees put aside personal feelings, they'd almost certainly award the cash to Dan for having played a superior game. Memphis, by contrast, has coasted and—if he's in the final two—some might believe he's worse than Dan because he hid while Dan did the dirty work.
But please, who am I kidding? This bunch of houseguests has never let logic get in the way of emotional, irrational thinking. Dan probably has as much chance of winning the half-million as I do.
That's why Renny very likely will be meeting Julie Chen on Thursday. And at that point, I fear, producers will have to come up with quite a twist to make the final two weeks of "Big Brother" remotely interesting.