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Michele Greppi believes half the fun of TV is talking about it -- whether it's whining about the lame-ass finale for the once-beloved "Veronica Mars" or gushing about the kick-ass coda of "The Shield,' which lacked only one last face-to-face at which Mackey could have -- deservedly -- gone postal on Shane. Enter OMGreppi, which will focus on things that were said or seen on TV in the previous 24 hours or so that had Ms. Greppi exclaiming or muttering "omigawd!" at her 24/7 television set.

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Let’s Not and Say We Did

June 21, 2007 10:13 AM

According to the New York Post today, NBC Universal is forking over as much as $1 million to secure the first post-jail interview with lighter-than-air-head Paris Hilton, to be conducted by Meredith Vieira on “Today” next week.

A “Today” representative declined to comment to OMGreppi about the report, except to suggest that “we don’t think anyone has secured anything.”

The Post report says NBCU President and CEO Jeff Zucker personally called Ms. Hilton’s father, Rick, to make the deal. ABC’s Barbara Walters apparently was wasting her time by talking to Ms. Hilton’s mother, Kathy, and with Paris herself during a dutifully reported phone call from the Los Angeles slammer to which the celebutante was returned by a judge determined that she should serve her full sentence for assorted traffic and dumb-blond offenses.

Word is Ms. Hilton said she would not consent to an interview with “Today” co-host Matt Lauer, who racked up big numbers Monday night with his heavily promoted interview with England’s Princes William and Harry.

So presumably Ms. Vieira still has time to save herself by saying something disparaging about Ms. Hilton.

But, really, what can Ms. Hilton say to any interviewer that means anything to anyone who lives in, or has a daughter who lives in, the real world?
Nothing. N.O.T.H.I.N.G.

Since she crept onto the socio-tabloid scene as a dramatically under-age and badly dressed partygoer, she has contributed nothing worthwhile to the world, except for keeping paparazzi employed, and she can’t even strike a natural pose for them. Her favorite word is “hot.” Her favorite look is vapid.

There truly is nothing to be gleaned from her tale of wealthy ho, err, woe. When she leaves jail this time, let’s let her and her pocketbook zoo drift out of the spotlight and into oblivion, the thing she fears most. No phony “I’m going to stop being dumb and do something worthwhile” confessionals. No book reports on her Cliffs Notes versions of the Bible and other good books she carried so cleverly—when she wasn’t attending MTV events.

We’ll all be better off. Even Paris Hilton.

Not that OMGreppi is pleading on behalf of anyone but herself. See, at times like this, OMGreppi has to watch things she wouldn’t choose to watch because this is her job. And then she has to go take another shower. And we all know how dangerous the combination of water and witches is.

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