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Michele Greppi believes half the fun of TV is talking about it -- whether it's whining about the lame-ass finale for the once-beloved "Veronica Mars" or gushing about the kick-ass coda of "The Shield,' which lacked only one last face-to-face at which Mackey could have -- deservedly -- gone postal on Shane. Enter OMGreppi, which will focus on things that were said or seen on TV in the previous 24 hours or so that had Ms. Greppi exclaiming or muttering "omigawd!" at her 24/7 television set.

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Big Bad 'Brother' Habits

August 6, 2007 10:30 AM

OMG, watching “Big Brother 8” suddenly is like watching the preamble to a multiple-car crash on a never-ending loop that plays in slow motion so we can all study (repeatedly) some pretty obvious life lessons and play drinking games.

First let’s tackle the life lessons as OMGreppi defines them midway through the “BB8” season in hermetically sealed hell.

  • Never trust a dork with nipple rings, a tattoo and eyebrows whose arches suggest an ego far out of proportion with any of the social skills yet displayed. Eric, who entered the house as “America’s Player,” ordered to carry out, without being discovered, missions assigned to him, is suddenly desperately sucking all the oxygen out of the house as he tries to prevent his eviction. He has gone so far beyond the subterfuge his missions require that his family and childhood friends by now should be reassessing every inexplicable disappearance of a neighborhood pet, bicycle or small household appliance. He should never be able to get another job or another friend, much less a date. His next task should be to get himself voted out of the house Thursday night.
  • Never trust a reality game player who wraps themselves in a Bible and then breaks every one of the 10 Commandments (including Thou Shalt Not Bore) as Internet and “Big Brother After Dark” viewers watch the bad deeds on the house feeds from which HouseGuests can neither run nor hide. Jameka, Amber and Kail should have to make full confessions to Julie Chen when they get evicted.
  • Never hire a reality game player who can not prove they have an actual personality (superbland “BB8” evictee No. 3, Mike, is all over Lifetime TV’s “Gay, Straight or Taken?” promos, which can only mean the reality contestant pool is running dry); a player who has a few too many earmarks of a socio-psychopath (bad dad Dick is on a major “Lord of the Flies” trip); or a player who can not explain all the words and symbols on a chocolate chip cookie package or at least barely pass a high school English equivalency test.

Speaking of “Lord of the Flies,” this group defines Ugly Americans every time they eat at a table (they talk, chew and yawn with their mouths full); or snack at a counter top (after they’ve dished about who doesn’t wash their hands after peeing, you shudder as you watch those hands go from large potato chip back to mouth and back again); or go into detailed discussions about body emissions and evacuations. And crybaby Amber smacking and chewing her way through one warm chocolate chip cookie with such sound effects that she might actually be in violation of at least one of New York City’s tough new noise ordinances.

Speaking of crybabies and “Lord of the Flies,” it’s time to let the drinking games begin.
Chose any of these as signals to chug and you’ll be tanked long before the first break on “Big Brother After Dark” on ShowtimeToo:

-Dustin scratches/adjusts himself.

-Amber’s bulldoggy lower lip trembles.

-Jameka murmurs mmmm-hmmmm.

-Jen checks herself out in a smooth shiny surface.

-Jessica repeats someone else’s nonsense noises.

-Daniele examines her split ends.

-Dick spits on the artificially grassed backyard (OMGreppi’s stomach turns every time someone sets a bare foot on the surface) or, if he’s inside, clears his throat with that dry smoker’s cough.

-Eric declares he is not a b-s’er or a liar, or, conversely, he's the straightest shooter in the house.

-Kail throws someone else under the eviction bus.

-A conversation stops when Zach approaches.

On the other hand, if you’re the designated driver, take a swig every time Dick seems genuinely apologetic for one of his egomaniacal, bully-boy rants. You’ll be safe behind the wheel.

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Comments (13)

Jo:

Being that you're in the entertainment business could you make a call and see about getting Nick back in the house. Its just not the same. If you suceed there is a free fruit basket in it for you! Thanks!

Greg:

Worst. Show. Ever.

Greg
www.denvertvguy.com

jbk:

It's hard to get much more repulsive than googley-eyed Eric in this season. I haven't watched it enough to figure out his orientation, but if he's straight, I can't figure out if he thinks he really has a chance with that blonde from Kansas who seems to enjoy sneering the word "Jew" as much as she enjoys making cartoon noises, or if he's just playing her. Either way - he's pathetic.

Dave L:

I do like Big Brother Alot I never miss it I do think Eric is doing a great job hope he stay's a while and I do miss Nick! Cry Baby Amber Needs to go Zach should be after that well we will see thanks, Dave


I have no such pull. But I agree the loss of Nick is a big one. On the other hand, if it leads quickly to the loss of Eric, it means Nick's blood will not have been shed in vain. Eric is going to need a couple of full-time bodyguards when the houseguests realize just how manipulative and phony he has been.

I have nothing to compare it to, this being the first Big Brother I have ever paid any attention to, but it seems to me that these people can't spit out bigoted vitriol fast enough.

Amber's screed on how greedy the Jews she knows are? Daniele calling Dustin a "little princess" behind his back, don't these people remember that they're on TV.

I'll tell you this, the next time I show up at a restaurant in The OC and get Daniele as a waitress, I'm going to send her back to the kitchen with my meal so many times it will make the head attached to that tiny little body of hers spin like there's no tomorrow.

Or do these people think they're gonna be BIG STARS after its all over.

To that, all I have to say is that I can't remember who was in the last Big Brother house and I don't think more than 2 out of ten in this country could tell you, either.

Greg:

I enjoy bad TV as much as the next person... (as a former master control operator I've seen every episode of "Superboy" and "Charles in Charge"... so I know of what I speak here...)

But BB8 is beyond my ability to laugh at a program. It just makes me angry...

I enjoy "Survivor".. but I blame it for all this nonsense that's followed...

Greg
www.denvertvguy.com

holly:

I can't stand dick's constant chewing on 'whatever" and then spitting it is gross......

Jennifer:

I understand some of the anger that many of you are feeling. I am a Big Brother addict, and I have to admit I got really excited when Dick started fights on the Showtime show. However, now it seems that everyone plays croquet, beer pong, or gather up in the HOH to do Jameka's hair. It reminds me a lot of Season 6 with the NERD HERD!! I wanted them to leave so bad, because the show is supposed to get more interesting as time progresses, not more and more boring. I am going to try and hang in there...soon the LNC will fracture and start turing against each other. That will definitely be interesting.

Ron:

I'm having a hard time with all the negative comments and no one says much about Dick. It was fun to watch him at first, but he has gone way over the top with his actions and comments. He is the one that is going to need a body gaurd when the show ends. They can't get him out of the house fast enough.

I've watch every season of big brother up till now. If Dick is the type of person CBS, and it appears many of the viewers want on the show, I will not be watching any more Big Brother season.

CBS is designing and promoting way to much confict in to this show now and it is not enjoyable to watch.

joe:

do you know where the croqet set is from

doug:

I think big brother 8 is one of the worst shows on tv!for the most part,I don't know why we LIKE to watch self-centered people on tv anyway! is it ratings? or is it the fact that we REALLY don't have anything better to do that watch OTHER PEOPLE make total fools of them selves for the mighty$$!! or do we find OURSELVES living out how WE would play this game?

Jennifer:

I think people get entirely too caught up in what is on TV these days. The age of Reality TV has changed people, and not for the better. I wonder if people feel more comfortable with their nasty behavior because they see the way people are treating each other on these shows, i.e. the backstabbing, lying, cheating...and now it has almost become commonplace.
It is a shame. I doubt we will ever be able to get back to having manners in this lifetime.
When did it become acceptable to chew with your mouth open? To lie to someone, but justify it because "it's a game". To claim your unwavering faith in God, yet use every nasty word in the book (and a few that aren't) while crying and begging Him for help? Are you SERIOUS? All for money.
Such a shame.

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