‘Friends’ Reruns Raise Alarms About a Health Issue

Apr 30, 2013  •  Post A Comment

A new study turned up a health concern in the reruns of the long-running NBC comedy hit “Friends.” Scientific American reports that a researcher from Marquette University is sounding alarms about the amount of caffeine the characters ingest on the show.

"No TV show exemplified our love of coffee more than ‘Friends.’ An appreciable percentage of the show took place in a coffee shop, and it introduced us to the monstrous 20 oz. mug," writes Kyle Hill, the researcher.

Assuming each character drank two 20-ounce coffees in each episode, Hill writes, "The whole gang downed, in total, 445 gallons of coffee. You could brew that amount of coffee in five large water heaters. These six friends could start a small coffee importing company."

He continues: "If you distributed all the caffeine the friends ingested over the decade at Central Perk, it would be enough of the drug to send almost 300 people to the hospital — if not outright kill them.

"Of course, each episode of Friends represents a small portion of the characters’ days (sometimes longer). So what if we are only joining the gang once a week? If each episode represented a week of time, on average, then these java junkies downed nearly 3,100 gallons of coffee — enough to fill over half a freight container. This amount of joe could send over 1,900 people to the hospital," he notes.

The conclusion? Don’t drink as much coffee as the characters on "Friends."

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6 Comments

  1. Man, do I wish I had so much free time to put together such a hypothesis.
    Kyle Hill, please put your research capabilities to fruitful enterprise!
    Peter Bright

  2. The real conclusion should be to cut off all research funds to Marquette.

  3. Wait until they discover Cougar Town…. but for as long as Friends has been over, that could be at least a decade from now.

  4. Who cares. The last episode of Friends was May 6, 2004. If Marquette University really wants to conduct a study how about the effects of pervasive sex, violence, drugs,illicit relationships,foul language, nudity, blatant sexism, etc. on our children and young adults? By no means am I a prude but today life truly imitates art. We live in a society in which adults who prey on minors are imprisoned and branded for life as sex offenders and where teachers who have sexual relationships with their students are “hung out to dry”. Yet somehow it is acceptable for a network television program [Pretty Little Liars] to have as part of its story line a teacher having an affair with his student. Moreover, it is tolerated. And then we wonder what has become of our childrens’ moral compass?

  5. I can see it now… the next “Mayor Michael Doomberg” thing to restrict from New Yorkers. Possibly an extra tax or fees for baristas and coffee shops. Problem is… this might just be real and no longer a joke or part of this NYC-placed show. This could have an opening for the Dems to restrict freedoms. As a person who used to travel Downtown Milwaukee, I can say that Marquette U is not a normal or conservative school. I guarantee that Rush Limbaugh will speak of this in the future! Probably the same or similar words too. And he will be agreeing with me.

  6. This is 100% political, with ramifications to those who value freedom of daily choices. The Dems and leftists want to take away freedoms. This is the first stage of that communist nanny state starting in this line. We already see this in NYC, which I commented below on. Could be caffeine restriction, or types of shows you will be able to watch, on your own accord. Making PBS (government-revenued, then disguised as “Corp. for Public Broadcasting TV”) should be your only [and what they think is the best] choice. Much like in some states, you pay for unions, but are not getting their benefits.
    Funny how much is thought of with just a small show. Too bad the Dems want everyone to suffer, just so they get what THEY (not the rest of us) want.

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