The Star-Less ‘View’: You Go, Girl

Jul 3, 2006  •  Post A Comment

Ever since Star Jones Reynolds announced she will be leaving “The View,” The Insider has been beside herself with a glee more pure than she has experienced since Kathie Me Gifford left “Live” and Regis Philbin in 2000.

Here’s hoping Ms. Jones Reynolds follows Ms. Gifford straight off the edge of the media world.

It won’t drive all the [expletive deleted] out of TV, but, as the old joke about all those lawyers on the floor of the ocean goes, it’s a start. And does The Insider have to remind you that Ms. Jones Reynolds was a lawyer before she decided she should be a TV star (no pun intended)? Of course not.

The then Miss Jones was, from the beginning of “The View” nine years ago, The Insider’s least favorite member of the ensemble assembled by “View” creator and co-host Barbara Walters. At the time The Insider was a critic for the New York Post and praised the show for dragging daytime programming kicking and screaming into the modern era with its daily conversations that rang true to so many everyday women.

But Ms. Jones Reynolds is bent on living a much-larger-than-everyday life. She was never one of the ladies. And in the world most “View” fans know, Ms. Jones would never, could never, be one of the girls.

And her disregard for such quaint concepts ultimately made her an irritant on her best days, and a [expletive deleted] on most days.

She was a fur-bearing, conspicuous consumer, a self-styled and self-dramatized diva, who, like Ms. Gifford, turned narcissism into an obscenity, dishonesty into a cottage industry, and hypocrisy into a religion (and vice versa?).

Indeed, when she began talking about having recently turned her life over to God, it was hard not to mutter to the TV that she clearly hadn’t turned her credit cards over to God.

From her store-bought hair and eyelashes, to her French-manicured, no-housework nails, from her rapper-bling jewelry and only-worn-once wardrobe to her navel-grazing decolletage before lunch, she is a cartoonish, walking, talking and social-climbing shrine to trailer-park aspirations and a skin-deep ethos. Why, she even made the front page of The New York Times Sunday Styles section once, and everyone knows that the Times accords that display only to people and subjects it deems sneer-worthy or laughable.

Ms. Jones Reynolds has flaunted her sins and excesses: the dishonesty about her weight loss and plastic surgery, the wedding to Al Reynolds planned around promotional considerations, the extreme violations of taste and decorum, and her tendency to take “The View” conversations hostage, except when the chat is about something that might be uncomfortably close to home-and then her silence is like a Rorschach test.

And so, to Ms. Jones Reynolds, The Insider says so long, farewell, auf wiedersehen, goodbye … and don’t let the media door hit you in the (expletive deleted) on the way out.

To Ms. Walters, The Insider pleads: please fill Ms. Star Jones’ seat with a “do” role model, not a “don’t.” There’s nothing wrong with hiring people you and we will like for a long time.

To those who consider her for another TV gig, The Insider says what she said to Comedy Central after it had loosed Bill Maher and Craig Kilborn on the world: From now on, if you’re going to keep minting [expletive deleted], you’re going to have to start keeping them.