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Can’t Wait Wait For `Late Late’

Jan 29, 2007  •  Post A Comment

CBS’s “The Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson” will broadcast live from Miami Beach late late on Super Bowl Sunday. In the mix will be players and other celebrities, as well as music. It’s the first live adventure on the road in Mr. Ferguson’s two years as host of the show.

The Insider basically cares only for the commercials on Super Bowl night-she’ll be learning new knitting and crocheting stitches from DIY’s five-hour Knit-In marathon of “Knitty Gritty” encores during all the blah-blah-blah in between commercials.

So Mr. Ferguson’s Feb. 4 show promises a treat at the end of a long day of hoo-haw on overdrive.

That seemed to warrant a few impertinent or otherwise annoying questions for the free-spirited entertainer who has been known to make sports picks based on teams’ logos. But he has been studying for his U.S. citizenship and clearly has been indoctrinated in American football, which, with Mr. Ferguson’s Scottish brogue, always sounds like there are umlauts over both o’s.

The Insider: You sound whipped.

Craig Ferguson: I am whipped. CBS has got me running around like their little bitch.

TI: Which executive in particular?

CF: Oh, all of them. But [late-night executive in charge of “The Late Late Show”] Doreen Hannaway is the one I blame.

TI: Which repertory regulars are you taking with you? Tim Meadows, Dave Foley, “President Bush”?

CF: I think Meadows is going to come down with us. I think that’s it. I couldn’t take Dave, he’s Canadian. Can’t have Canadians. No, no. We don’t want Canadians there.

TI: How much time have you spent in Miami?

CF: I actually spent a few vacations in Florida, in Delray Beach, which is a little town.

TI: It’s the proverbial hot spot?

CF: Yeah, yeah, yeah. I like it. It’s where you get lesbian poetry slam on a Tuesday night. I always like to go to the lesbian poetry slam if I can. I very nearly bought a house there before I got this job.

TI: There are four NFL teams that have bird-head profiles for logos. Which team’s beak points to the left?

CF: Gawd, I haven’t the faintest idea.

TI: You’ve been studying up on team logos.

CF: What is this, the f–ing citizenship test? Come on. The beak pointing to the left would be the Eagles.

TI: Very good. Which point to the right?

CF: I’m guessing it would be the Cardinals.

TI: [Buzzer noise to indicate incomplete answer.]

CF: Well, I can’t help you.

TI: Have you made your pick yet?

CF: My pick was actually the Chargers, but they’re out. I’ve got to be honest. I do like the Bears in this. I think the Bears will actually do it. I think they’ll be the ones going to Disneyland.

TI: If they don’t, do you know how to be as [air quotes] gracious as Regis Philbin when he makes the wrong call?

CF: My call was the Chargers. So I’m going in wrong. I feel released in a certain way by that. I was very disappointed by the Chargers-Patriots result. I really thought it was the Chargers’ turn but they just can’t do it in the postseason.

TI: At this point, has football football replaced soccer football in your affections?

CF: If I were spending more time in a Spanish-speaking country, I’d probably be more into soccer, but I tend to watch football more than ever now. I can’t afford the fancy cable pipes you need for soccer.

TI: Anything you want to share about plans in Miami to take advantage of the local environment?

CF: Well, I’m hoping the local environment has plans to take advantage of me.

TI: For a good time, call ….

CF: For a good time, call CBS. Ask for Craigie.