For several years now one of the hightlights of the network upfronts is Jimmy Kimmel’s annual monologue at ABC’s presentation in New York City
This year was no exception, as Kimmel again entertained the Madison Ave. audience during ABC’s upfront presentation Tuesday afternoon at Avery Fisher Hall in Lincoln Center. Though some attendees said it wasn’t Kimmel’s funniest upfront schtick, it still had its moments where the crowd roared.
The best received joke was the one in the headline, above.
Here are some other highlights:
"NBC, as you know, likes to keep its programming a secret for as long as possible, sometimes forever. Unfortunately, a writer from The Hollywood Reporter, James Hibberd, snuck into their upfront rehearsal and released the whole NBC schedule the day before it was announced, which upset them because when you have bad news, you want to deliver it yourself. It’s the right thing to do."
"My favorite ‘Undercover Boss’ episode was when the president of Hooters pretended he didn’t know that Hooters waitresses get sexually harassed. if he doesn’t win an Emmy for that…"
"But let’s focus on ABC, that’s why we’re here, to shine a spotlight on ourselves, not to cast stones on others. I think Steve McPherson said it best earlier when he said we’re looking for shows to break the mold…and then introduced a new medical drama from Shonda Rhimes. I’ve been saying for years, ‘Shonda, when are you going to give us a new medical drama?’ "
"I love ‘Lost’ and I’m going to miss it. Watching ‘Lost’ is what I imagine it must be like to be trapped inside the brain of Paula Abdul."
"If I could leave you with only one thought tonight, it’s this: Network television is in flux. its been in flux for some time now. You might say we’re completely fluxed. That said at ABC we want to give you a good hard fluxing for hours, from every conceivable position. Because that’s what we’re doing, constantly fluxing others. So let’s flux this thing up good this year."
"Last year amidst a lot of bullshit, Steve introduced us to a show that is I think the funniest sitcom in a very long time. It’s called ‘Modern Family.’ I love it, I watch every week and I hope you love it, too."
The Hollywood Reporter has a complete transcript of Kimmel’s monologue, here.