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May 18, 2008  •  Post A Comment

In what has become an annual rite of spring, TelevisionWeek National Editor Michele Greppi answers burning questions about highlights, lowlights, fashion, fun and WTF moments of upfront week, which kicked off with NBC Universal’s not-so-upfront “Experience.”
After staring at the golf ball handed out at the NBC Universal bash, we’re still not sure we know whose picture that is decaled on it. Who is it we’re supposed to tee off on?
We must have gotten the same golf ball, the “could be Masi Oka with Jimmy Fallon’s bone structure” or “could be Jimmy Fallon with Masi Oka’s glasses.” It’s “Heroes’” Hiro. There also were golf balls bearing the extra-dimpled likenesses of “30 Rock’s” Jack McBrayer and “The Office’s” Rainn Wilson, aka Dwight Schrute. (Trade you a Masi Oka for a Jack McBrayer.) Speaking of dimples, ladies, wasn’t it a kick to see slightly cottage-cheesy signs of early cellulite on Titan-ic thighs at the “American Gladiators” ring?
Was the “Experience” the only apocalyptic sign of the end of an era for preview-driven upfronts?
No. The gong rang much more quietly at the annual CBS press breakfast. Since 1996, the breakfast has begun with a drape being pulled off a board that reflects all of the network schedules announced (or otherwise known) by then. The suspense wasn’t just about what CBS was going to put where (CEO Leslie Moonves strictly enforced a cone of silence until the breakfast), but also whether the board might come off the easel when the drape was pulled. This year, CBS went digital with the board, which was revealed by the push of a button but otherwise looked exactly the same. There was a round of applause in honor of the passing of the cardboard board.
With the trend toward the Rubik’s Cube-like ad sales strategies being articulated by several of the networks, can high-end pocket protectors be far behind?
In croc-embossed leather or ostrich, perhaps? With titanium slide rules? There were times when selling mass quantities of age-based demographic groups sounded sooooooooooo yesterday. The formulas are definitely getting more complicated; picture network sales execs being forced to rely on their gadget-savvy 12-year-olds to work out the details. The conversations also are less concise. NBCU is redefining the concept of sell-through by using autos-sold or customers-came-through-the-doors data after commercials air to tweak premium sales models. ABC is focusing on a slew of traits to help advertisers find the highest concentration of viewers most likely to be interested in their brands. Schtrategy, schmategy, sputtered CBS executives, who said their research guru, David Poltrack, was getting nuanced before nuanced was cool. In a reference to ABC’s newly unveiled Advertiser Value Index, CBS programming Senior Executive VP Kelly Kahl joked, “We have the Poltrack Value Index.”
How “Back to the Future” is it that ABC is resurrecting “The Mole” this summer?
Not as “Back to the Future” as ABC’s campaign for cable operators to offer network programming on-demand with fast-forward disabled. Hmmmmm. Except for the VOD element, that has been called “watching television” since the days when TV programming only came in two colors, black and white, and viewers had to get up and walk across the room to graze other channels during commercial breaks. And let’s not forget “Beverly Hills, 90210,” which The CW certainly hopes we won’t do.
Any fashion trends worth noting?
Disney-ABC Television Group President Anne Sweeney and ABC Entertainment President Steve McPherson both took to the stage in navy pinstriped suits. Ms. Sweeney’s had trendy wide-legged pants. Mr. McPherson, who needs only to spike his brush cut for a Rascal Flatts look, opted for a classic slacks cut. Thumbs-up for both. Jimmy Fallon cut a fine and fashionably funny figure in a dark Tom Ford suit purchased for the press conference at which he was officially introduced as the successor to “Late Night” host Conan O’Brien. (Mr. O’Brien purchased a dark Armani suit for his first press conference more than 15 years ago.) Lorne Michaels, who will develop and executive produce Mr. Fallon’s iteration of “Late Night,” was wearing his Order of Canada lapel pin. At The CW’s event, “Gossip Girl’s” Blake Lively showed how to wear a lightly metallic sheath: Be tall and leggy and completely fat-free. It was a very classy look, unlike the waitresses wearing CW-green wigs, flimsy lace minidresses, knee-high mesh stockings and black vinyl biker cuffs with black F-me spike heels that must have made doing their jobs cruel and unusual punishment. The Pussycat Dolls may be gone from The CW, but they aren’t forgotten by resident fetish freaks. And a note to NBC News’ fashion police: The next time Keith Olbermann poses for a picture that will run full-length and larger-than-life on a digital totem, tell him to leave the open-heeled Crocs at home—unless he wants to put those kid-collected Jibbitz charms in the round holes. That might make him a fashion rebel, not a fashion wrong, wrong, wrong.
Who will win the 10 p.m. Thursday battle of the BBC knockoffs, ABC’s “Life on Mars” or CBS’ “Eleventh Hour”?
There’s no way to make a well-informed call at this early date, but …. “Eleventh Hour” stars Tony nominee Rufus Sewell playing a contemporary man in contemporary times, contemporary clothes and, perhaps most important, contemporary hair. “Life on Mars” stars Jason O’Mara as a 21st-century cop with a 21st-century haircut who’s knocked back to the early ’70s, where the combo of buzz cut and bell bottoms meant only one thing: You were just back from Vietnam. Without the bells, you could have been an early-adopter skinhead. On a more substantive level, CBS’ version of “Eleventh Hour” comes from Jerry Bruckheimer’s hit-making machine. “Life on Mars” was to have come from the more quirk-centric David E. Kelley, until ABC began negotiating to transfer the reins of the drama from Mr. Kelley, who wrote the pilot, to Josh Appelbaum, Andre Nemec and Scott Rosenberg of the late “October Road.”
What was the best title for a new show?
“Fourplay,” hands down. The title of the ABC relationship comedy, which had been known as the “Untitled Kohan/ Mutchnick Project,” is so open to interpretation—and Freudian misspellings—it’s worth starting a scrapbook.
Didn’t any of the networks party like it was 1999 after their presentation?
Fox closed the week by throwing a party so big it played out in two stages. The first started under the tent at Central Park’s Wollman Rink, where more than 3,000 guests arrived for food and drinks immediately after Thursday’s late-afternoon presentation. A younger crowd was invited to arrive at 8-ish. They took to—and stayed late on—the dance floor, something no one else offered, unless you count Shakira’s wildly received hip-shaking show at the Univision presentation Wednesday.

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