The Insider: Feud for Thought

Jul 6, 2008  •  Post A Comment

Part 1: Is The Insider the only one who has just had it up to here with feuds as TV content? The ongoing battle of the cable network news stars is sooo yesteryear, soooooo lacking any redeeming value as news or comment, and soooooooo be-yawned tiresome. It’s become the re-gift that keeps on re-giving.
The blowharding, once regarded as a way to get attention that translates into blog headlines, long ago sank to the level of signs that the well-paid blowharders need to start working a little harder in their sessions with their psychotherapists who are not quite so well paid to listen to their same old psychocomplaints. It’s time to adjust the meds so the talking heads can move on to something bigger than themselves.
Oh! What was The Insider thinking to suggest that there might be something bigger than congenitally angry and doomed-to-be-underappreciated cable news egos? Her bad.
Part 2: Was The Insider the only one who squirmed all the way through last week’s “Celebrity Family Feud”? Who thought it was cute to book Duane Chapman, aka “Dog the Bounty Hunter,” and his motley crew of kin? Repeats of his show returned recently to A&E, which will begin running 26 new half-hours on July 16.
So now this man whose racist ranting led to advertiser fallout and tabloid overdose is just another “celebrity” with a project to promote?
And his family is pitted against Kathie Me Gifford, the newest member of the “Today” family, and her own all-American family that includes two fresh-faced teenagers she has graciously committed to this reincarnated exercise in smut lite?
God must be dead and spinning in her grave.
Part 3: What about a feud-off? Nationally televised. A special run called “Self-Promoting Celebrity Family Feud.” Oops! Sorry, The Insider’s redundancy filter was momentarily down for upgrade.
But seeing how seldom blowhards could guess what the survey says are the most unflattering things about them and their on-air food fights might actually be amusing—certainly more amusing than the intramural bully-baiting.
It’s entirely possible that a “Self-Promoting Celebrity Family Feud” might boil down to nothing but sudden-death face-offs. One strike and yer out!
After all, when’s the last time they really considered how they and their world might look to someone not entangled in it?
Part 4: The Insider spreads birdseed on the window sill that’s within view of her desk. The result is a daylong parade of birds in all shapes and sizes, from starlings to a lovely pair of gray doves nicknamed Nick and Nora, to the obnoxious pigeons who recently crashed the party.
It’s better than TV for Miss Kitt Cat, so named because she’s stunning and she’s black.
If Miss Kitt is not curled up next to The Insider’s laptop, she’s crouched on the windowsill, nose against the glass. Her tail whips back and forth like a metronome. Her ears flatten. Her chin quivers. She drools. Occasionally she launches herself at the glass, like a cable news blowhard in the throes of a special commentary or intramural talking point.
The newer birds may retreat briefly to the metal strut that’s a foot away. But the veterans just look up from the birdseed buffet ever so briefly, as if to say, “You lookin’ at me? Are you lookin’ at me?”
It’s at that point The Insider takes pity and shakes the little tin that contains her cat treats. It’s the only sound that can bring Miss Kitt sprinting back to reality and The Insider’s desk.
Just an idle thought offered to keepers of the cable TV puddytats who are going to hurt themselves one day when they launch themselves against the glass of the TV lens.
Me. Ow! Insider out.


  1. Wow! Michele. Have a bit of hatrid in you do you? Don’t tell me for a minute that you wouldn’t sign your family up for the Feud if you were important enough to warrant the invite. You blast Kathie Lee’s family and the Chapmans without any background as to why you feel they should be ground down by your, apparently, perfect reputation. You must be very squirmish since there was nothing to squirm over in that show. It was all clean fun in their episode and quite gentle. Why didn’t you blast the “Girls Next Door” since they have done nothign for society except show being pretty with fake boobs is the best a girl can do in this world? Where are your priorities?

  2. we need dog the bounty hunter he the best
    we care about them and family and team

  3. HOW does Family Feud get away with only offering 20,000 for the Grand Prize? I have never understood this. You go to other daytime shows and their offering so much more, yet, for years, FF has gotten away with just 20,000 for the grand prize and a measly $5 dollars a point if you don’t hit the grand prize.
    Deal or No deal is coming into daytime syndication offering 250,000, Price is right ends up offering much more, Millionare even more…yet FF has gotten away with being so cheap every year.
    20,000 after taxes is probably around 13K, split among the five winning members of the team…. What a bunch of Cheapskates Family Feud is!!!
    But I guess they get away with it because they can..

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