Chuck Ross

Obama’s Improbable Peace Prize Plays Like It Was Invented in Hollywood; I Hear It Actually Was

Oct 9, 2009

President Obama’s selection as the winner of the Nobel Peace Prize came as such a surprise, some wags are saying even Hollywood wouldn’t have come up with such an improbable scenario.

But our TVWeek sources say that that’s exactly where the idea was hatched. They even provided us with a transcript of the meeting between writer-director Robert Towne, Oprah Winfrey, "24" showrunner Howard Gordon and Arnold Schwarzenegger, plus some talent including Stewie Griffin, Cosmo Kramer and Ricky Ricardo. (Or maybe they didn’t. I might have dreamt this … )

Winfrey: Let me get this right: Barack and I go all the way to Denmark and get all this publicity and make a big splash, and then the IOC screws us?

Towne: That’s right. And then when Obama finds out he’s been screwed, Rahm grabs his shoulder and says, “Forget it, Barack. It’s Copenhagen.”

Winfrey: No, forget it. Doesn’t work for me.

Gordon: OK. Two ways to get out of this. One, Bauer takes out the entire IOC for the insult. Or two, unbeknownst to everyone, Oprah and Obama sneak over to Norway and, and , and ….

Towne: Why would they do that?

Winfrey (ignoring him): Hmm. Keep talking.

Schwarzenegger: Ya. I should be in the party too. I harassed a woman from Scandanavia once. I like them. We go over there to talk to the Nobel guys about maybe giving me an award.

Winfrey: Maybe not.

Stewie: Please. And I thought the dog was stupid. No Ahnold, we tell the Nobel folks Obama’s got to get the Nobel Peace Prize.

Winfrey: Obama?

Kramer: I like this. I think it can work.

Stewie: I was kidding, you morons.

Schwarzenegger: No, I’m the Governator. You wanna give this to the Presidentator?

Winfrey: The who?

Stewie (to Schwarzenegger): Imbecile! If I may borrow a line from my own show, if you don’t shut up I’ll put you on diaper detail and I promise I won’t make it easy for you!

So the plot was hatched. Obama would get shafted on the Olympics decision, but the happy Hollywood ending would be preserved by his getting the Nobel Peace Prize. Yes, not really logical, but neither was “Forrest Gump,” and that won the best screenplay and picture Oscars.

Oh, yes; after all the details were finalized at the meeting, there was one last vestige of protest:

Ricky Ricardo: Nobel committee, you’ve got some splainin’ to do!


  1. Hey Chuck were you ever featured in a news program called “The Dumbing of America” that was produced by CBS presented by Dan Rather Anchor man that exposed George W. Bush as a “No Show” for meetings when he was PUT in the Texas Air National Guard by daddy Sr. Bush so as to keep W. from going to Viet-Nam and therefore denying America of a financial crises in the years 2000 thru 2008 and leaving every American Tax payer indebted to China for the rest of their lives.
    Wish I knew what you and Rush Limpballs are smoking cause it’s making you’all sound “WACKO” , PLUS WRITING THIS KIND OF SHIT WILL NOT GET YOU A NOBEL !!

  2. Wow greg. What’s wrong with a little satire? I guess you don’t like it when someone does to to someone you support. I thought liberals were supposed to be tolerant. Oh and by the way, using Dan Rather as an example; I guess you forgot he lost his job over false documents. Maybe you should use someone with credibility next time to back you up, idiot.

  3. I think New Gingrich said it best: “As an American I am not so shocked that Obama was given the Nobel Peace Prize without any accomplishments to his name, but that America gave him the White House based on the same credentials.”

  4. According to Wikipedia, freeware is copyrighted computer software which is made available for use free of charge, for an unlimited time, as opposed to shareware where the user is required to pay (e.g. after some trial period or for additional functionality). Authors of freeware often want to “give something to the community”, but also want credit for their software and to retain control of its future development. Sometimes when programmers decide to stop developing a freeware product, they will give the source code to another programmer or release the product’s source code to the public as free software.

  5. I like this article, it’s funny ..

  6. AP Chinese dissident Liu Xiaobo will be awarded the Nobel Peace Prize Friday, but he will not be able to collect his prize.

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