With the memory of his stinging Golden Globes barbs still fresh in the minds of some of the people Ricky Gervais offended, Gervais set his sights on another awards ceremony–the Oscars.

The actor wrote a blog entry offering suggestions to Oscars hosts James Franco and Anne Hathaway for their opening remarks at this Sunday’s ceremony.

Some samples: “Hathaway: ‘You can all relax because Ricky Gervais is in London. (Nervous laughter.) He’s doing some charity work. Yeah, he’s visiting orphans with cancer. He’s telling them what bald little losers they are.’

“Franco: ‘No rudeness tonight. It’s going to be a night of the most privileged people in the world being told how brilliant they are and thanking God for loving them more than ugly poor foreigners.’”